Until You Learn To Swim
by LittleMartian
Summary: Post War Zutara AU: Power is terrifying, gratifying and satisfying all in the same breath. And as always, with that power comes responsibility—and even more enemies. Zuko carries the fate of the Fire Nation on his shoulders, and he is crumbling beneath its weight. Katara believes that he shouldn't have to carry it alone. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with her.


**Hello everyone! Little Martian here!**

**Although I think it a moot point to actually type this, but you all should know that this story **_**completely **_**ignores the comic books. Partially because I don't like the idea of Ozai **_**not**_** being Zuko's father, and partially because I never bothered to actually **_**finish**_** them. This fanfiction's first two chapters start off the night of Zuko's coronation, and then the chapter after that proceeds to 2 years from Sozin's comet, and then the chapter after that hits the 5 year mark, where the **_**real**_** story begins. I hope you like it!**

**This is a Zutara story, but in the beginning, there is a bit of Maiko and Kataang. Mai is just super-hard to write. Therefore, I apologize for that.**

**This story is in between T and M, like most of my other stories. However, for mention of lemons, and perhaps eventual lemons, I will keep the rating as M**

**This will be my Disclaimer for the entire story. I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender, nor do I claim to. This is made purely for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of others.**

**The song **_**Swim **_**by Cassandra Kubinski inspires the entirety of this story. I don't own that either.**

**Chapter 1: Dive Right In**

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><p><em><strong>I can tell you're still testing the water,<br>You don't know how to begin.  
>This is your moment, you can't hesitate or slow down<br>Just got to dive right in.**_

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><p><strong>Two months after Sozin's Comet; the night of Zuko's Coronation<strong>

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><p>How had his emotions changed within the span of a few hours? He was happy, <em>content<em> before. But after the coronation…

Sixteen year old, newly crowned Fire Lord Zuko sat on his throne, nursing a drink that he probably _shouldn't_ be having at his age. He snorted, taking another sip. Who was actually going to tell him _no_?

He _was _the Fire Lord after all.

But Zuko _needed_ this drink. To calm his own nerves down, and maintain that little line of sanity that threatened to overtake him, just as it had overtaken nearly every member of his family.

He'd just been crowned Fire Lord earlier today, the leader of the most powerful—and the most _despised_ nation in the world.

Tonight was his celebration party. So, he should have been happy, right? Wrong.

The sea of faces swirled before him in blurred motions. He recognized some of them, he'd fought alongside them only a few months earlier. But most of them he did _not _know. Which ones were supporters of the Avatar? Which ones supported his father? He didn't know. Their true intentions were hidden behind veiled smiles and polite pleasantries.

At least…those from the Fire Nation

He saw the nobility look down on the majority of the guests here, something that did not please Zuko _at all_. Most of them were from the Earth Kingdom, they were friends and relatives of those who had fought in the battle at the end, and on the Day of Black Sun. There were a few members of the Fire Nation nobility here as well. Zuko recognized them by their ostentatious clothing, and upturned noses at the other invitees to the party.

Zuko sighed and rested his drink on a nearby table. letting the music from the nearby band wash over his ears. Some things would never change; the ridiculously prejudiced and snobbish behavior of the upper class was one of them. However, Zuko had to try anyway. He recognized a few faces from his childhood, white-haired elderly men with ridiculously young wives, and more children than they could possibly count. When he had walked by them at the start of this ridiculous party, they'd bowed and greeted him as if they were long lost friends, rather than crabby old men who'd ridiculed him only so long ago under Ozai's reign.

One of his father's biggest financial supporters raised a glass of firewhiskey to him in greeting. Zuko had immediately wonder _how_ the man had been invited, but then let it go and resigned himself to talk with the man anyway. They group he was with, looked up as he approached, and as Zuko extended a hand in welcome, _trying _to mend bridges that had been burned a long time ago, the man cleared his throat with distain.

"P-Prince Zuko—_Ah, _I mean…_Fire_ _Lord_ Zuko." He'd said, and the men behind him snickered under their breath. The elderly man's wrinkled face pulled into a covert smirk, undetectable by those who didn't know the ways of the Fire Nation etiquette. Of course, he'd expressed regret soon after. "Deepest apologies for my mistake, My Lord."

"No harm done, Chancellor Xiang." Zuko said stiffly, his voice prim and proper and full everything he'd come to hate about the ways of royal life over the last few years.

Strange, how he'd been craving this treatment no less than 4 months ago.

The men toasted him again. "We wish you a successful reign, Lord Zuko."

The smiles on their faces said that this group of men wished nothing more than this statement to be true. Zuko nodded without emotion, and excused himself shortly afterwards. The sneers and sarcastic remarks they'd made to his retreating figure, however, said that they wanted nothing more than to see him fail.

Zuko picked up the drink again, taking a longer swig this time, half wishing for the days before the Comet, with everyone else on Ember Island. Those days were full of uncertainty, and half of the time, he wasn't sure if he'd even survive it. They were simpler days because he'd had an objective, a goal, something to focus his energy on. Now without it…he did not know where he was headed.

He almost wished he were somewhere else.

Katara, Suki and Tylee had planned the entire thing. He'd wanted no part of it, no party at all in fact, but the three of them outnumbered him. The planning, the decorating, the invitations…he'd quickly and carefully resigned himself from the whole thing. Aang and Sokka agreed to whatever their girlfriends said, and Tylee threatened him with embarrassing stories about his childhood if he pressed the issue.

Mai, like him, wanted absolutely _no_ part of it. Moreover, as he looked around, he couldn't see her anywhere.

If anyone had actually _asked_ him, he would have said that everything was normal. If Mai had asked him, he would have told her what was wrong, just to get it off his chest.

Reality had just hit him.

And he felt like he was being trampled under the feet of a komodo rhino.

Reality _hurt._

The reality of it all was, that he was truly standing on the _cusp_ of transition, and he wasn't really sure how he felt about it. He was nervous, and it took all of his willpower to keep a straight face. He was sixteen years old, too old to be considered a boy, and yet…he wasn't really a man either.

With five simple words, he'd gone from someone who _took _orders, to someone who _gave _them. At least…in the grander scheme of things. Zuko smiled wistfully tom himself. He'd come a long way from the spoiled, arrogant, prince that he was before this journey all started. When he looked in the mirror, he finally saw something more than his shame.

He could no longer hide behind the mask of a Prince who was too young and inexperienced for his position. With those three simple words…that in all honesty never really _needed_ to be spoken, considering that he'd been running the country for _months_ and _everyone _called him the Fire Lord already, but it'd never been real. He felt the weight of the diadem on his head and the golden pin slip through his hair, and suddenly…it felt _official._

How _terrifying_.

He had to stop thinking. By Agni, it hurt to think, and being so melancholic couldn't be good for his heath. Then again, when in the past few years had he ever had the option to be _happy_. And Zuko, right now, didn't want to get off of his throne and _mingle_. What he really wanted was to enjoy the warm and fuzzy feeling spreading from his fingers down to the tips of his toes.

"What's got you looking so angry at the world, _Fire_ _Lord_?"

Zuko looked up, seeing Katara standing over him, hands on her hips, giving him a knowing grin. He cracked a smile, leaning back in his throne. "I'm not angry at the world, Master Katara. This is how my face always is." He said, but then his expression dimmed, as her eyes lingered on his scar for a split-second before she looked away. Turning away from her, he surveyed the crowd, all talking to each other like they were all the best of friends. They weren't, of course. But they could pretend for an hour or so.

"Pity." She quipped. She gestured to the chair that Mai _would be_ occupying, if she'd been here. He felt a pang of longing go through him, and realized that Katara was still standing. She gestured again. "May I sit? I don't want to break any Fire Nation rules or something."

He just waved her off. As one of his closest friends, Katara would never have to abide by formal procedures. He wouldn't do that to any of them. "Well, I suppose…since Mai ran away."

"What happened with Mai?" Katara asked, sitting down in Mai's seat. Despite the fact that they were breaking about six rules of formal etiquette, he was glad when Katara sat next to him. He did not feel so alone anymore, on his dais, above everyone else like he was somehow better than them. She smirked at him, taking his disassociate and near expressionless eyes for gloomy emotion. "I was thinking you'd given up your brooding prince persona."

He chuckled lightly, resting his hand in his chin. "I haven't been a—_brooding prince_—in a while."

Katara nodded her understanding. "And you'll never be that again, Mr._ Fire Lord_." She said, giving him a wry smile.

"Obviously." He mumbled; unaware of the melancholic tone his voice had taken on. "And Mai doesn't like parties. She never has."

"Really?" Katara asked, looking out at everyone. Some were dancing, some were laughing, and some, like Chancellor Xiang, were scheming. "But everyone's having a good time."

"Mostly everyone." He murmured to himself. Then in a louder voice, he said. "Mai's problem is—I think it just has something to do with the whole—_pretending_ to be _nice_ to people thing. She's never nice to someone she doesn't like, and she'll let you know about it." Zuko smiled at her, thinking of Mai. Mai's outspokenness and blatant dislike of all false pretenses was one of his favorite things about her.

"I know how mean she can be." Katara mused. "I suppose you'll have to bring out her smiling side."

"Mai never smiles." Zuko snorted, but he smiled then, picturing Mai's lips curling back to reveal what _may _have been a smile. He sighed, though lips tingled at the thought of their last kiss, just moments before he was crowned. But couldn't even his imagination let Mai smile, for _once_. He snapped back to reality once he realized that Katara was staring at him funnily. He cleared his throat. "Mai hasn't crossed any boundaries or anything right?"

He wasn't sure if his girlfriend, and his closest friends could get along. They _were_, after all, on opposite sides most of the time.

"Don't worry about it. She's been wonderful." Katara said. She looked up and smiled again. "I don't hold grudges."

Zuko sipped his drink again, arching his good brow in blatant disbelief. "You expect _me_, of all people, to believe that? Seriously, Katara. You've known me entirely too long." Zuko asked. Katara held his gaze for a moment before breaking away. Zuko smiled in victory. He and Katara both knew how deeply she held her grudges, the _important _ones anyway.

It still irked him to no end, his behavior towards her in the caves underneath Ba Sing Se. There was making stupid decisions, and then there was making _really _stupid ones. Really stupid decisions that had the power to change the fate of the world in only an instant. And in those caves…it wasn't really his crowning moment of genius. And she'd hated him, for weeks, _months_, afterward.

The thing about Katara, was that she always took things so personally, something he could never understand. Zuko, on the other hand _hated_ when things got personal. That's why, when things _did_ get personal, it was so much easier to single out who to extract vengeance from. It was why he and Mai were perfect together. They were _personal_, without being _too_ personal. It worked out in everyone's favor. Speaking of which…

"Where is everyone?" Zuko asked, trying to change the subject. "I haven't seen them—or _anyone _really,all evening."

Katara gave him a look as if to say, _where else would they be_? She pointed discreetly to the tables of food. The night was almost over, and most of the tings on the tables were desserts. But over the throng, he did spy the blue-arrowed Avatar, and the ponytail of the Water Tribe boy. "Sokka and Aang are stuffing their faces with cake, I think…or that thing they had there…I'm not sure what it was…_choc-_something?" She said, and her eyes brightened a bit at the mention of the treat.

"Chocolate?" Zuko asked.

Katara clapped her hands together, affirming what he'd said. "Yes, that's it. _Chocolate_. It's absolutely delicious." She turned wildly towards him. "You have to give me some."

"The tree only grows here in the Fire Nation, and in the most remote parts of the Earth Kingdom." Zuko said, "You can have as much as you want. As much as you can carry, even."

"You do that, and I just might have to move to the Fire Nation."

They laughed quietly until Zuko raised a bit out of his seat to see the awe-struck kitchen staff staring at the Water Tribe Warrior shove food in his mouth. "After months of nothing but seeds, nuts and berries – and groceries when we could get it – I thought that Sokka would have eaten everything by now."

"Not for lack of trying." Katara agreed, looking at her brother with tired eyes.

"Suki and Toph?"

Katara rolled her eyes. "She _was_ trying to reign in Sokka, but gave up on that half an hour ago. I'm not sure _exactly _ where she is, but I think she and Tylee were _trying_ to get Toph back in her dress." Katara sighed. "I don't think they'll have much luck _there_, but—,"

Zuko's jaw dropped. "She took her dress _off_?"

Katara poked him in the shoulder. "She went back to her room to change into something more comfortable." She gave him a withered look. The two girls have had this conversation multiple times, which typically ended one way. Katara and Toph, both muddy, and bending the heck out of each other. "Which for _her_, means pants and running around barefoot. And anything as far away from being _remotely_ girly as possible."

"I was wondering how you all _got_ her in the dress to begin with." He said.

Katara made a face. "It wasn't easy, trust me." They were silent for a moment, as Katara and Zuko took in the swirling couples on the dance floor, and both of them wished that their partners could be there with them right now. Katara's eyes widened as she thought of something, but then they narrowed playfully at him. "You tried to distract me!"

Zuko gave her a sideways look. "It worked for a while."

"Not long enough," She countered, but then her voice grew soft and serious. "Now, really, what's bothering you?"

"Nothing's bothering me." Zuko said stiffly, and even he knew that he wasn't really telling the truth.

"You expect _me_, of all people, to believe that?" She asked, repeating his words from earlier. Zuko said nothing. She leaned back in Mai's chair. "I didn't think so. Now what's _really_ going on with you?"

"Like I said, there's nothing wrong." Zuko picked up his glass again and attempted to drink, before realizing it was empty. Damn.

"Really, now?" The corner of her mouth pulled upwards knowingly. Katara sat there with an expectant expression on her face. Why was she staring at him like that? He suspected the sheer _motherly_ stare that she used to extract information from Sokka and Aang was now being turned on _him. _And under the weight of that gaze, Zuko was beginning to crack. She was effective. _Very, _effective.

Zuko held up his hands in surrender. "Alright— _alright_, already. I'll _tell_ you. How do you _do _that?"

She smirked at him. "Lots of practice. Now tell me."

Zuko sighed, "When I said—on the dais—that Aang and I could lead the Fire Nation on a path to redemption, I didn't believe it. I still don't believe it. Those were just words to make a nice sounding speech."

"Zuko, you're going to be a great Fire Lord. I just _know_ it." She said, and she looked into his eyes then, and he felt so grateful to her. She was such a good friend. And her maturity…it was hard to believe that she was only a girl of fourteen.

"But Katara," He looked over the crowd at the figures dressed in red. They were his _subjects _now. He gave Katara a hard look and ran a finger over the golden throne of the Fire Lord. "For the past three generations—_four _if you count my sister…this throne has been corrupted by greed, power, and supremacy. The tyrants here have ruled with an absolute fist, and absolute power. Absolute power corrupts…absolutely. Or at least that's what my Uncle says."

"And?" Katara asked as if he was seriously missing some kind of point. "That's not you. At least, not the person you are now."

Zuko looked at her with tired eyes. "I—what if I become like _them_? What if I become…someone _worse_?"

"You don't know that you won't." Katara said simply. Zuko could not tell if he should be insulted or shocked, but nevertheless, his eyes remained steady and unblinking on her face.

"I'm sorry, _what_?"

She held up her hands as if to hold him back. "Hear me out for a second. You don't know that you won't become them, but I believe that you've worked too hard to fail now." She smiled at him again. "And you wouldn't have saved my life if you didn't deserve this."

Zuko cocked his head towards her, bowing slightly. "So then, what do I do first?"

"You want my opinion? Alright, but I'm not sure how good it'll be." She leaned back, spying someone over Zuko's shoulder and giving them a bright smile. He would have turned, if only to see who'd distracted her like that, but he was too caught up in waiting for her advice. Relaxing now, she started to explain. "Now, I know that this is going to sound _very_ unlike me…but I think you should just dive right into it. Give the position of Fire Lord the best of your ability right from the start. Then you'll know. This is _your_ moment after all."

She finished with a contented sigh and Zuko didn't say anything for a long time afterwards. Or…at least it felt like a long time. "Well?" She said when he didn't respond.

"You're right. That sounds _nothing_ like what you would say."

Katara smacked him playfully on the arm. He heard someone gasp, mortified that she touched him. If they only knew the number of scuffles they'd gotten into…whether training or not. "That's so unfair!" Katara laughed. "Here I am, giving you priceless wisdom and you—you know what? I'm not giving you advice _ever_ again!"

"What kind of advice was that?"

"Perfectly good advice! Aang would have been proud of me!" She huffed in indignation.

"If you say so."

She smiled at him, and flagged down a server to pick a glass of juice from his tray. "So which do you choose, Zuko? Sink or Swim?"

He contemplated that for a moment, looking out at the myriad of faces, trying to get rid of the hesitation. People he'd have to get to know, people who hated him, people who'd hate him soon enough…they all made up a great big puzzle, and he was trying to organize the pieces with the help of a few other _teenagers_.

"Honestly, Katara…" Zuko said, taking another firewhiskey from the tray. "I really don't know right now."

They'd just saved the world, and now they were expected to repair it as well, with Zuko and Aang at the forefront.

No pressure, right?

What could _possibly_ go wrong?

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><p><strong>This is a test to see if you all would like something like this. Hi, this is Little Martian here, with another fanfic. With the exception of <strong>_**The Palace**_**, all of the other stories on my profile are on hiatus (long story). PM me or check out the authors notes on those stories if you are confused in the last chapter.**

**Zuko and Katara do not have feelings for each other…yet. Maybe. We'll see. ;) **

**If you would like more of this particular story, then either review, favorite or follow this story, so I know I should continue it. Otherwise, I will probably scrap it. Maybe not…it was the most popular on the poll. I don't know :) **

**If you like what you see here, then I hope you'll check out my other **_**monster**_** of a story, The Palace (it's my baby, what can I say).**

**Please tell me what you think!**

**Have a wonderful week, and I hope you all have a very **_**happy**_** and **_**prosperous**_** New Year.**


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